


The One That Got Away

by ForiegnMoons



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Its sad I’m sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForiegnMoons/pseuds/ForiegnMoons
Summary: A Crygi one shot based off the song The One That Got Away by Katy Perry
Relationships: Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode, Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Gigi Goode/Nicky Doll, Nicky Doll/Gigi Goode
Comments: 7
Kudos: 54





	The One That Got Away

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry in advance because I can apparently only wrote sad shit.

In another life, I would make you stay  
So I don’t have to say you were the one that got away.

——~——

Summer, 1993

The first time Crystal had seen Gigi Goode was in the summer of 1993. Crystal had been driving down Hollywood boulevard in her black mustang with the top down. The sun was beating down on her head, and creating heat waves off the roads and sidewalks. She had parked outside an ice cream parlor when she saw a statuesque woman walking down the sidewalk towards her. The auburn haired woman was tall and lanky. Her makeup impeccable, and slightly curled hair falling in gentle waves around her face. Her outfit was perfectly coordinated, and Crystal couldn’t look away. Before she knew it, she was fumbling her words and sitting with the woman she now knew as Gigi Goode. 

After three weeks of knowing each other and making out in Crystal’s car, they made a crazy and impulsive choice to get matching tattoos. Crystal already had one tattoo, so she was more used to the prick of the needle than Gigi, who had tears welling in her eyes the whole time and squeezed Crystal’s hand so tightly that Crystal jokes for weeks after that her hand was broken. 

——~——

Summer was drawing to an end, and both Gigi and Crystal were at a crossroads. Crystal was going to art school in the Bay Area, and Gigi was supposed to go to a fashion design school there in LA. The two women had become increasingly attached at the hip since they met, and felt the increasing pressure to make a choice. The night before Crystal left, Gigi asked her to come to her house. Crystal obliged, and found herself sneaking liquor with Gigi up to the roof. Despite the air pollution, some stars were still visible, leading Crystal to point out constellations and planets. She felt Gigi’s eyes on her, transmitting only love and adoration. 

The more alcohol the two consumed, the more intense their rambling became. Crystal was now cuddling Gigi, and propping herself up against the chimney with a blanket over them and a bottle of vodka in Gigi’s lap. 

“Crys I’m gonna say something ok?”

“Ohhh this must be big if you’re announcing yourself first!” Crystal laughed as she poked Gigi’s leg. The younger woman laughed and swatted at her hand. 

“Shut up everything I say is important! Anyway I decided what I’m going to do.”

Crystal’s laugh died out instantly, and she felt her heart tighten with anxiety. What if Gigi didn’t want to see her anymore? What if it was just a fling for her? What if Crystal was the only one who cared? 

“I’m going with you.”

Crystal’s head snapped up, eyes wide with shock and question. 

“What about fashion school? I can’t let you do that Gi! That’s your dream and you can’t abandon it for me!” 

“Who says I’m abandoning it dummy? I found another school that will take me about an hour away from where you live. It’s in the same direction as your school so you can take me part way. Of course I would get a part time job to help pay for rent but I want to go with you.” Gigi had sat up and turned toward Crystal. Her hands were balled up and pushing into her knees as she looked up hopefully at Crystal. 

“I love you.” Crystal immediately blurted after Gigi finished talking. She immediately felt her face flush red at the admission and felt frantic panic run through herself. Gigi’s eyes were boring into her, shining with emotion. 

“I love you too you dummy.”

——~——

Summer, 1995

Two years after meeting, Gigi announced that she wanted to break up. Everything in Crystal’s world came crashing down around her. The woman who she loved wildly was leaving her. The air around her felt heavier than the world and her body hurt as if she was being pulled apart. Before she knew it Gigi had packed a bag and had her hand on the doorknob. 

“Why?” Crystal choked out in a small whisper. “Why don’t you love me anymore? Was I not good enough for you?”

Gigi spun around to face Crystal, her eyes heavy with tears and body language nothing short of destroyed. 

“I don’t know Crystal. Things are different now. I can’t explain it but I don’t feel the same anymore. I’m sorry.” 

Before Crystal’s tears could hit the floor, the sound of the door shutting rang through the now sullen apartment. Alone for the first time in years, she collapsed to the floor and cried harder than she ever had before. After two hours of weeping, she pulled herself up and wobbled into the bedroom the shared. Or used to share. She pulled open the dresser and instead of Gigi’s perfectly folded and fashionable clothing, it was just her scrunched up printed shirt that Gigi joked were “The truest form of terrorism.” She fell back onto the bed, and almost magnetically was pulled to Gigi’s side which still smelled of her lavender and citrus lotion which prompted a whole new wave of tears. 

Eventually once all the pillows were stained with salty tears, Crystal lay in silence. Her head flopped to the side in the now dark room and saw the glowing green clock. It read 1:27 a.m., and Crystal groaned and sat up. Grabbing her pillow and a blanket she opted to sleep on the couch, leaving her in a fitful sleep, tormented with dreams of the summer of 1993. 

——~——

Present day, Winter 1995

Crystal had been trying to move on from Gigi for almost six months. She had done everything her therapist had recommended. She had written about her feelings, which resulted in the papers being burned up over her lighter, tried to paint them onto canvas, but found herself too overcome with sadness to finish them and would end up throwing them away. She went on dates but they always felt wrong. It’s not that the women she saw weren’t pretty or interesting, but they just weren’t Gigi. Nobody was Gigi and Crystal knew that she couldn’t love anyone but Gigi. 

Her friend Jackie had come by every few days since the break up to make sure Crystal was eating and taking care of herself. Jackie was still in touch with Gigi and despite her best intentions not to tell Crystal anything about her, Crystal has alarmingly good puppy dog eyes. 

“Well,” the Persian woman began “the last time I saw her she was singing downtown for extra money and...” Jackie trailed off mid sentence, debating if she should tell Crystal everything she knew. 

“What is it Jackie?” Crystal inquired with a little more than intrigue present in her voice. “What aren’t you telling me? I’m a big girl I can handle it.”

Jackie sighed and once again gave in to the requests of the woman across from her who was clenching a mug of coffee and god knows what else so tightly that her knuckles began to whiten. 

“Her tattoo. The one that matches yours. She had it removed.” Almost instantly, Jackie regretted saying anything. Crystal dropped the mug onto the carpet, her face dropping in confusion, sadness and pain. It took Jackie just shy of an hour of coaxing to get Crystal off the ground and into her bed. 

——~——

Summer, 1997

Gigi Goode has finally made it big. She had released her own line of clothing in partnership with her girlfriend Nicky. She had moved to Paris just over a year ago and met the French woman on a rainy night. Gigi’s French at the time was “Appalling to put it nicely” as Nicky would say, but lucky for her Nicky was fluent in both languages. A month into knowing her she finally let the Parisian take her on a date, and from then on they were never seen apart. Nicky was everything anyone could ever want. She was kind, loving, caring, smart, beautiful, and funny as hell, but something was wrong. Gigi knee deep down what it was, but didn’t have the heart to admit it to herself. She loved Nicky truly and earnestly, but she wasn’t Crystal. Where Crystal was horrible puns and misconstrued jokes that made you groan and roll your eyes, Nicky was sharp humor and wit. Where Crystal was a mash up of horrendous patterns the shouldn’t be in the same closet, and a mullet that rivaled El Debarge’s, Nicky was sleek blond hair and the cutting edge of fashion. They were both incredible, but deep deep down Gigi knew that Nicky would never be what she needed, because Crystal would always be her love. 

Against her better judgement, she returned to America in the summer to visit old friends. Nicky stayed behind to care for their business and prepare for their next runway. In a twisted way, Gigi almost felt glad for that so she could maybe see Crystal. 

——~——

The second Jackie told Crystal that Gigi was back, she knew that just like when she told her about the tattoo, it was a mistake. Crystal’s eyes welled up with tears yet again, and she grabbed her keys and ran. She spent longer than she would like to admit trying to jam her keys into the ignition, her vision blurry and warped. When she finally got her key in and the car started, the familiar roar of the engine under her began to soothe her. She started off to drive along one of her favorite routes. 

The roads took her along a mountain side with a path that was jus barely large enough for two cars, and had a view of the water. The radio blared, but calmed down as the song switched from pop into something more familiar. The low voice of the station’s host announced it as their hourly throwback song. When the first few notes rang out, Crystal began to cry again. Why of all times did they have to play this song?

If I Ever Fall In Love by Shai streamed out from her speakers, and swirls her senses. Even if her sobs hadn’t shaken her hands and body, even if her tears hadn’t blurred her vision, she was so overwhelmed that she didn’t see the semi truck barreling down the road. She couldn’t hear the screaming horn until it was too late. Snapped from her daze, she jerked the wheel to the right, trying to get out of the way. 

——~—— 

Jackie knew what her job was. Crystal had told her plenty of times while they watched feel good movies and ate popcorn. 

“When I die, I want you to give this to Gigi ok? I know you won’t want to but I want you to.”

Jackie would always joke that if Crystal was ever going to die it would’ve happened long ago, and that if there was one thing that would endure with cockroaches and Cher, it would be Crystal. 

The joke wasn’t as funny now. 

After the funeral, Jackie found Gigi out in the cemetery, standing under a tree. Her fingers were ghosting across her upper left arm where the ink saying ‘1993’ used to be. The two women were cordial, and Jackie didn’t need to spend more time with her than necessary. She knew it wasn’t fair to blame herself nor Gigi at all, but some part of her wondered about if she hadn’t told Crystal that Gigi was back, or if Gigi hadn’t come back at all if they would still have Crystal with them. 

“Here.” Jackie thrust the letter out toward Gigi. “Hope you have a safe flight back to Paris.” Without another word, Jackie spun on her heel and walked back toward the parking lot. Gigi clutched the letter to her chest, recognizing the sloppy yet familiar handwriting on the front as Crystal’s. She didn’t dare open it from fear of e we hat was inside. She returned to the gravel path and walked slowly back to her rental car. Getting in, she knew she wasn’t going back to the hotel right away. She didn’t know where she was going until she was there. 

When the car’s engine settled, she was sitting in the driver’s seat and looking out at the rolling ocean. She was at the pier where she had been on her first date with Crystal. The pier buzzed with families and happy couples striding up and down the wooden planks, standing in lines for food and the Ferris wheel, the weight of the letter in her hands increased tenfold. With shaking fingers, she lightly peeled back the lip of the envelope and pulled out a piece of lined paper. Even though it had been years, she could only hear Crystal’s voice as she read it. 

“Hi Gi. It’s me, Crystal. Obviously since who else would write you a dumb letter. Anyway that’s not the point. I wrote this to tell you everything. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it in person but I’m gone now. I don’t know when you’ll be seeing this but even if it’s when you’re a million years old and still looking twenty, these words will still be true. I love you. I love you so much. More than you could ever even know. I know you’re happy now, I see your photos when Jackie shows me. I’m glad your brand is going well and that you’re happy. I know that it’s selfish but I wanted to be her. I wanted to be Nicky. All I ever wanted was to be with you and be at your side. Now you’re rich and famous but all the money you have can’t buy a time machine for me to go back to when I had you. I couldn’t replace you, and I really did try. Not a thousand diamond rings could’ve replaced you. I guess I should’ve told you how much you meant to me. But hey, that’s life. But maybe in another life, I’ll be your girl. Maybe we could keep all those promises we made each other up in the roof that summer, just us against the world. In another life I would have made you stay. I would have made you stay that night or I would’ve gotten on a plane to see you. God I wish I had convinced you to say so that I wouldn’t have to say that you were the one that got away. I will always love you.  
In life and in death, always yours, 

-Crystal Elizabeth Methyd”

Gigi’s normally perfect makeup was smudged and smeared, tears streaming down her face. It hurt because it was all true. She knew the minute she left that Crystal was the one who got away, but her pride wouldn’t let her return. And now it’s too late. Crystal was gone and wouldn’t be back. Throwing her head back against the headrest, she mumbled the four words she knew Crystal wanted her to say more than anything else. 

“I love you Crystal...”


End file.
